How to act as the manager when promoted while keeping my friends?

This is one of the questions I was recently asked after my presentation about Happiness at work and my soon to be published book Put your people first. I was invited to talk at the award ceremony of Copenhagen Bicycle for hotels who have cooperated best with them during the year. (only in Copenhagen would you have the “golden pedal award”).
I was interested in the question, so I enquired more into her thoughts and her stories was that she had recently been promoted to reception manager from receptionist. She had several friends who were receptionist and now she was not sure how to handle her relations.
She told me that she had a great boss, however the boss was always very busy and didn’t have so much time for her. (another topic on its own – how can a boss be too busy to talk to the people who work for them?)
It is an interesting topic, as most hoteliers are moving their careers through promotions within their own teams and as I was listening to her; it occurred to me that this has a major impact on why we have so much unfairness in the hotel workplace.
Why?
Because you are most likely not best friends with everyone. You have your group of people that you hang out with. When one in that group is promoted that person, mist likely subconsciously, gives preferences when scheduling, pre-tell information and special treatments (holidays, days off, lunch breaks etc) to the friends. This creates unfairness and subsequently can create major issues in the department.
Should you stop having friends?
Of course not, you should keep your friends. Life without work friends can be very hard and what would your friends think of you if you stopped being with them? Everyone, regardless of position, needs friends.
What is important?
Here are a couple of advices that I answered at the presentation (I’m sure you can come up with many more):

• stay out of gossip and encourage your friends to stay out as well – does not help anything
• Try to deliver message upwards of things that you didn’t like when being on the lower position
• use your new position to make a better work environment for your colleagues
• don’t share special information with your friends first – as to make rest of them feeling left out (if this is hard – make an effort to do the opposite – inform your friends last and tell them)
• don’t give special treatment when scheduling; great idea I learned from McDonalds Denmark is to set up an app and have the team tell you when they can work and then create the schedule based on that. Reverse the order; instead of you telling the people when they should work, they tell you when they can work. Increase freedom and empower people to be in charge of their own time.
• Make a conscious effort to spend time, during workhours, with the other team members and get to know them better.

Do you agree or would you add change some of the points? Feel free to comment below or write me@monikahilm.com.

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This topic and many more will be discussed in my book that will be released on 8th of November. Get your signed copy by pre-ordering on www.happyhotelsbook.com
This article originally appeared on www.monikahilm.com